oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
