If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
