We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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