I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
