you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
