Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize