how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
