Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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