Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
