Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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