You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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