Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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