is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize