I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize