As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
