Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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