did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
