Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
