I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
