It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Acid is not a monday night drug
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
