Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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