What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
