I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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