he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
