just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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