All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
