I smell stomach acid.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize