worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
