I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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