The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
