Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
