Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I enjoy the company of your penis
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize