Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
