Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
