Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
