check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
