so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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