Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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