I cannot find my penis.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
