you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
