we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
