The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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