i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You've changed since you got that strap on
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
