i would punch a child for taco bell
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
