help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
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Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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