didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
