she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
