so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
