Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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