I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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