I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
