how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
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I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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