i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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