i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
how does that bad decision feel?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
