so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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