Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
