i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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