Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
