I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
