I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
So. Much. Porn.
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